:: the best has yet to come! ::
i've had my ipod photo for.. i think almost half a yr.. but only today.. (i repeat, half a yr later!) i decided to try putting in some pictures. hahah!! (sorry, i am quite an IT idiot) but hey, i have very good reasons to support my delayed action!!
Reason 1:
I have had no time to figure out how the hell to put in the pictures!!
Reason 2:
I had no idea how to put in the pictures!!How come both reasons sound like one and the same? muahaha..
so anywaes. now tt i am jobless, with plenty of time on my hands, i tried doing the impossible & viola..! I DID IT! i have beautiful photos in my ipod photo! (wahaha, wat cud b lamer???) altho i mus admit, i spent almost 2 hrs figuring out how to do it... *shamed!!* well, now tt my most fave photos of current are in my ipod, i am a happy gal. (in fact these photos are the very reason tt motivated me to figure the function out.. hee!)
today is the best day since i left my job. (other than not getting proper sleep last night.. *whines*) i went for my 1st ever proper interview in the morning. WENT WELL. *applause!* i noticed other ppl spent about 15 to 20 minutes in the room while i was in there for almost 45. *grins* prospective employer was saying positive things like "i think you might be wat we're looking for" & my fave was, "i like wat i am hearing". yea!!! 2nd interview sounds promising. best part is, i like wat the job holds for me. LOTS OF CHALLENGES & in my fave field.. marcomm. i hope i land it. i'm realli excited abt this job.
2nd gd thing to happen today.. one of my best frens is BACK!! & for gd i think! now we can haf our gossip sessions & clubbing days BACK! yippee!! and she's gonna celebrate her upcoming bdae with an "old school uniform" theme. oo.. sexy. can't wait! hee!
3rd gd thing to happen today.. er, i have photos in my ipod photo. muahahahha...!
o man.. hopefully my nex entry will go something like, "I'm hired!"
tt will make me a happy happy happy HAPPY girl! :D
:: Salutes to Daphne Teo ::
blogging has become scary. malicious. suspicious. unless nobody reads ur blog. (like mine which i am happy with!)
my fave blogger has closed down her bleedingblackbutterflies blog & i am feeling kinda lost. no more daphne teo to read.
as if that's not bad enuff. some flamer set up a whole new blog pinkblackbullcrap.blogspot.com claiming to be her & of cuz, insulting her in the entire blog. another silly person who thinks the readers are fools to not know tt.
hey daphne, i dunno u & u'll nv get to read this but i jus wanna say tt: ur long time readers knew wat u r like & u dun hafta care abt those flamers. u kno they r jus jealous & wud do anything to get u down. i am sad tt u closed ur blog and hope tt one day u will return. meantime, have a nice life!!
lastly, wanna add: i am enjoying the privacy of my private blog!! *wide grin*
:: STOP asking me WHY! ::
the worse thing ever is to be misunderstood or NOT EVEN UNDERSTOOD by someone closest to you.
things tt come out of your mouth are not retractable so watch wat u say.
hurt inflicted cannot be undone.
it hurts like mad.
u can say my ego is too big for my own gd. but i realli feel vulnerable now & the last thing i need is to be attacked when wat i realli need is some understanding & support.
if i didn't care abt my family i wudn't b stressing over being jobless now, wud i? i mean y do i need to b so desperate in looking for a job.
even tho i am desperate, it doesn't mean i hafta go against my own principles to clinch a job opportunity. if i dun want to, I DUN WANT TO. stop asking me why. if there was an answer to everything, why do we need scientists/psychologists for. & let's not forget, i'm a libran. i am fiercely loyal to everything. my beliefs, my principles, the ppl ard me. u can call me inflexible, stubborn wateva. but w/o this character triat, i am not me.
honestly, if u can't take me for wat i am, JUS GET E HELL OUTTA HERE.
:: sorry to burst YOUR bubble but u r not beautiful at all! ::
dammit.
i saw dawn y**/y*** last nite.
omg.
no i was not star struck.
IT'S TRUE. no need to speculate anymore. it's so obvious in person i dun understand how anyone can b confused!!! & guess wat, she looked like a trans in person. not like a manga doll at all.. like someone from thailand! no dutch blood detected tho!
i think she mus haf excellent photoshop skills! she looks flawless on photos.. but in person.. it's far from it.
and cuz of her face, she doesn't look like a 20 yr old at all.. she looked like a 40 yr old trying to look like 30. i am not exagerating. & i realli realli pity her. cuz it'll only get worse.
maybe it is my good luck to haf seen her. cuz now tt i kno she doesn't look as gd as she does on photos, & i dun haf tt angst against her as to claiming to b a "natural" beauty & putting the realli naturally beautiful ppl in doubtful light. & also, shaming girls & Singaporeans for being so irresponsible for her own selfish actions.
it realli is none of my biz but.. seeing her has been a closure on this subject for me. cuz now i kno, if anything, her "transformation" did not make her look anymore prettier. not outside nor inside.
and, all this hoo & ha had been so totally unnecessary.
:: Welcome to the REAL World ::
there is a no such thing as free lunch in the world. i learnt it the hard way.
so here i am, sending out an average of 8 resumes a day. not 1 has gotten back. it's sad. & it's tough. & it's making me scared. do i haf to settle for something i dun enjoy doing jus for e sake of having a job? maybe i shudn't haf been so harsh with my words with a fren of mine who seemed to haf bummed forever b4 finally getting a job. no i dun wanna b in her shoes. so i will *add oil*!!!
so for now, there's realli nothing to do but bum. i considered getting a part time job but tt will kinda get in the way of my job-hunting. wat if i can't get off from my part time job to go for an interview? wat if 1 week into my new part time job i get a full time job & i haf to quit? tt's not very responsible..
so i decided i might not get a part time job for now. at least not one tt requires commitment.
this whole episode has made me feel terrible abt myself. i can't explain. it's like it was not my fault from the beginning to the end, yet i am treated like i am the one who is in the wrong. i had to quit my job. i left w/o telling anyone why. & all the work is left incomplete. (i dun like being so irresponsible) but since -he- started mixing business with pleasure, i haf no choice but to follow suit. but honestly, i haf been forced into making this decision. & even tho it is not my fault, i am the one tt is suffering. not to mention it has been such a traumatizing encounter for me. i am scared, upset, angry & cheated all at onced. it is so unfair. and now, i can't find a job.
i wud say this is one of my lowest periods.. i feel like such a stupid person to haf been led into such a trap. & i guess i haf no one to blame but myself. i am such a sorry ass.
:(
:: i'm out ::
i am feeling so much better now that i've told my family & close colleagues at work abt wat happened. & sorta like a closure. i'm allowed to leave w/o giving notice. *thank god!*
so.. it's e end & also a beginning for me. i'm happy & sad to b leaving. happy tt i dun hafta see -him- anymore. sad tt i'm unemployed. i've waited for so long to finally getting my full pay & now.. :( feels like i'm back to square one & i'm not getting anything out of it. absolutely wasted my time.
so thursday is my last day & i haf lotsa things to clear b4 i go!!! it's tuesday today so i haf like 2 days to clear & handover!!! omg. so i guess i shudn't b typing an entry now, eh? mm..
BYE!
:: screwed for life ::
dawn yang dawn yeo wateva ur name is, u r so screwed. & i thot i was e only one who felt this way. apparently the whole world feels this way. u r a disgrace to girls & i hope i will nv see u make it anywhere. if u haf had enhancements done to urself, u jolly well admit it & dun start with ur "wat can i do?" comments cuz it's sickening. if u haf e guts to do it, why dun u haf e guts to admit it. since u done it, u goddam b proud of it! if not then wat becomes of ur old self? haf u jus decided to shelf dawn yang & b dawn yeo now?? can't believe u r so silly to think no one will ever find out (u think too much of urself) and tt by denying it it'll b fine?? man.. u realli need someone to show u e ropes to be the survival of the fittest cuz u dun even kno e rules to begin with.
it's all too late now. i jus hope tt 5 yrs down e road, u can still look as ravishing as u do now (cuz it seems like tt's all u haf got left). cuz plastic surgeory DUN LAST. oh ur surgeon didn't tell u tt? o of cuz, he jus wants those bills of urs! sure u can go for touch-ups & wat not.. but.. think u'll start to look like a certain jackson. poor girl.
with a past like tt, dun think abt where it's gonna take u, it ain't.
even harisu is prettier than u. kno y? she's straight up no lies & ppl love her for tt.
take a hike, & dun even say u r singaporean. *pui*
:: i realli wish i cud stay.. realli.. ::
Life is unpredictable. Jus when u think u've got everything u need, shit happens.
So i thot i secured a job even b4 graduation. i did. But it was not to last. i am job hunting again. (& it sucks) y am i quitting my job, u say? well i am not gonna spell out word for word. let's jus say tt.. even if i lose my pride, my face, my confidence & my money, i will not lose my DIGNITY. i am not afraid of anybody but i can't work in an environment tt i do not feel safe / comfortable in. i will not be forced into doing things tt i dun wish to do & if e only way to resolve is to quit & go, then i will. & so i shall.
sad thing is, i nv saw this coming. i realli planned to stay at least 2 yrs here. now with this shit happeneing, i have act quick & find a job b4 i am declared jobless. i hate this. i was realli loving my job, settling in, enjoying the company of some of my colleagues. i can't say how much i detest this person tt is indirectly forcing me to quit but all i can say is i hope this person one day realises the agony he has put me thru. & NEVER FORGIVE HIMSELF. it was totally unprofessional, ungentlemanly & utterly disgusting. all the respect i had for him jus vanished at tt very instant. & i haf no desire to work for him any longer, in fact, i want out tis very moment!! But.. i can't.. hai.. it jus realli sucks. sometimes responsibility weighs too much for ppl to make the right decision. if i cud b less responsible, i wud b a happier person.. i guess.. :(
my only consolation is tt this is going to look gd on my resume.. other than e short span i spent here.. it looks gd i must say. & tt since i nv planned on coming into this company, it is not tt sad for me to have to go. jus tt i find it a pity that i can't stay & progress in this plc tt proves to b prospective for me. i kno all these sounds too abstract for anyone to understand. but those with high EQ shud feel a bit of wat i'm trying to say.
*feel me?*
thank you. *sobs!!!* T_T
:: bleedingblackbutterflies ::
i dun read jus any blog. cuz most of them put me to sleep. truth is, wat is so nice to read abt someone else blabber on abt their own lives?? i mean, we haf our own to trouble with.. i kno tt is a very negative thot but.. ya.. it gets me sometimes too.
however, there is this blog tt i check bac regularly. i am sure a lot of ppl do too. she has recently changed her blog add due to wat reason i dunno.. but i'm jus glad i can still access it. this girl. even tho she blabbers on abt her own life, somehow it is very exciting. sometimes i get so absorbed into her blog she feels like my best fren. haha. most imptly, it is 100x better than x**xue's! at least she is much better to look at & hey, she is REAL & no gimmicks.
for starters, she is well-to-do. so she leads this high life tt most of us can only dream abt. she has this perfect family whereby she is like the princess in the family, the youngest child & also e only girl. needless to mention, she happens to b very beautiful, yet somehow i dun feel she is arrogant. it's in the way she phrases her words. u kno she is not a bitchy person. to add to the list, she has / had a gd looking bf, whom realli complemented her & i think they look jus great tgt. LASTLY, she has got the brains! & in wat? IT! a girl who excels in IT? hardly! and as if tt is not enuff, she also has medals for swimming in the SEA games or something! wat a lass! (makes girls so damn proud!)
therefore, i think she deserves to b a blogger celebrity, unlike some who jus tries too hard.. to prove tt they r popular, to prove tt they r well-to-do, to prove tt they r pretty & the list goes on.
whereas my fave bloger does not yet it is jus shining thru. she's got the looks, the money, the guys & also the class. somewhere in her blog someone mentioned her life is like a tv drama. & i totally agree on tt.
i kno a bitch when i see one, here is definitely not one. those flamers who go to her site to flame her: U GUYS, STOP BEING SO SOUR. everyone has their own lives & there's bound to b someone better than the other. u want 2 haf a live like her then do something. dun jus sit there, pity urself & make others sound as bad as u r.
last but not least, here is her blog add for u guys to visit. the 1st one is her old add, the 2nd one is the current one. haf fun, all.
www.pinkshoefetish.blogspot.com
www.bleedingblackbutterflies.blogspot.comu know wat e bestest bestest part is?
she blogs in perfect english.
:: social butterfly.. not! ::
i am no social butterfly. but SG is jus too small tt i'm getting connected to anyone & everyone! with the increased usage of FRIENDSTER, i'm coming to know of more & more ppl i kno getting with other ppl tt i kno & they r totally unaware of how they r connected! sometimes it's scary.. cuz one grp of frens kno certain stuff abt u & not e other.. u kno, e different category of frens.. & between my bf & i.. we haf at least 5 connections (which we unravelled over 2 yrs!)i am even linked to my bf thru my neighbour!! but, there's jus no way to stop the connections i guess, like i said, SG is jus too fcuking small!
Connection 1:a dear fren of mine went thru a tough break up. her bf cheated on her emotionally & eventually broke up with her to b with someone else. this "3rd party", let's call her A. (for Asshole?) she defames my dear fren's name openly in her blog & thinks it's perfectly fine since it is her "personal" blog. (wat an innocent creature she is) so from then on i kno i've made myself a new enemy. so then my bf's buddy is also gg thru a break up, with this girl who had some other guy standing up for her at a club & deeming fit tt her bf is no gd for her. (which is refering to my bf's buddy of cuz) so they broke up. now she's all upset over it & wants him bac but he doesn't wan her bac no more. so my bf & me went clubbing with this buddy one fine day & i saw A & this xgf of his tgt in a grp. so e slutts belong tgt. birds of the same feather sure flock tgt. not one connection i'm proud to b acquinted with.
Connection 2:my sister has an xbf bac in poly.. he was nice, good looking & all, unfortunately he wasn't a very gd bf. so they broke up. however, they kept in contact & many times he tried to win my sister's heart again. but wat can i say, when u've lost it, u've lost it. so another one fine day, i was browsing a polymate's profile on friendster & his face popped up in front of me.. he was in a pic with my buddy! i immediately called up to ask wat was gg on with them & she told me he was an x classmate of her cousin's in SIM. my sister had a grp of haters bac in SIM who openly declared their hatred for her cuz she was his xgf, ibviously they were jus jealous cuz this guy continued to woo my sister even after many years, leaving them in the dust.. so.. ya.. wondering if this cud b the same grp of haters..? hai.. another unpleasant connection.
Connection 3:i was once addicted to clubbing (zouk to b exact), so much so tt i wud club 3 days in a week!!! so with my clubbing kakis (fiona's frens) we wud drink ourselves silly & play nonsensical games & go home only when the sun rises. but as months went by, it got mundane so i stopped going. yrs later, my sister brings home a bf.. tt is apparently my polymate's fren (tt is another connection altogether). after conversing, we found out tt we had e same clubbing kakis yrs bac!! jus tt we nv met! but he claims to kno fiona, so.. i guess we met but we jus nv knew of each other's existance! freakiest part is.. he was also the best man at my bf's cousins's wedding! (apparently he & my bf's cousin's hubby were buddies bac in NS)
All these in less than a month. enuff connections for now.
i mean honestly, y can't i b connected to ppl like ronaldo, jon jonson, edison.. takuya maybe? :p
Cheerios!
:: Cristiano Ronaldo is so HOT! ::
i used 2 b reali boy crazy. e kind tt has idols (& worships them).. & wud scream when i hear their names being mentioned. (ok i still am but i will only scream now if i see their pictures/on tv now. hahaha)
so anywae, thanks to my bf, i've been watching soccer lately.. u can call me slow but i am realli very taken with RONALDO lately. being e boy-crazy girl i am, i dunno why it nv occurred to me to search for CRISTIANO RONALDO online!!! & now tt i did.. OMG.. my eyes are realli bulging out. REALLI!!! he is so so so goddam drop dead gorgeous!!! anyone saw tt hot bod of his?? TO-DIE-FOR!!! wa lao. realli cannot tahan. so i searched more. & more. & MORE!!! & he is now officially 2nd to Jon Jonsson on my list!!! (spot e similarities between e 2 men: 1. they r both tanned 2. they both haf dark colored hair 3. they both haf hot abs 4. they both haf tt teeth thing when they smile 5. OMG i can't name it all!!!)
sadly good news are alwaes accompanied by bad ones. as i was busy checking out his endorsements for NIKE, Men's health & wat not, i also came across news of him cllubbing with girls & getting hot & heavy with girls on e beach. hmm.. looks like he ain't tt clean-cut as he seems to be! sad eh. oh did i mention, he's only 20.
i am such a cradle snatcher.
:: it has been a good weekend ::
this weekend was a busy one. baby sprained his ankle & has been hopping ard. i told him on friday, "this weekend, we r staying home" since he obviously wun b able to get ard on his feet, much less on a bike. BUT, jus happens tt we've so many places to go, so much things to do, we didn't realli get to stay at home. :/
on friday night we went for a vegetarian dinner at a restaurant in coronation plaza called "miao yi". it was his mom's bdae. the restaurant serves one of e best-tasting vegetarian food i have ever eaten.. considering i'm not a vegetarian fan but a vegetables fan.
after tt, we went home, sang his mom a bdae song & ate her bdae cake.. hang out with his cousins at home then joel called. his bdae was the nex day & so he wanted to party e night away. we went down to liquid room, stayed there till 3am & headed to zouk & stayed there till 5am. (yes, all this despite baby's sprained ankle!) it was fun at liquid but not zouk cuz i saw ppl i cud not stand e sight of & it totally ruined my time there. plus i was oredi dead beat from partying at liquid. so by 4.30 i was like a horse, pulling a long face.
we went for supper nearby our plc & by e time we headed home, it was almost 6am. we showered & zzz like pigs. not really cuz we woke up at 12 noon the same day!! somehow we both didn't sleep well & cudn't sleep anymore.. so we went out for breakfast.. then headed home.. & lazed in front of the tv till abt 3pm.. & i went to nap while baby con't watching tv.
at 5pm he woke me up cuz we had to go to Taka Square to support a good fren who was in the Subaru Team Challenge!!! well, b4 i went, i thot it was gg to b quite fun watching him stand there with his hands stuck onto the car for 6 hrs straight with a 5 min break every 6 hour segment. but when we got there, i realised it's beartbreaking to watch someone u kno stand there so tired, with no form of communication except abstract body language! i felt for him & realli wished tt he wud win & tt all his effort wud not go to waste. we met up with a big bunch of ppl to show our support. we "visited" him, then went for dinner. "visited" him after dinner & went for drinks. after drinks, "visited" him again & stayed there till past 1am! it was realli heartbreaking.. to see him torture himself like tt!! so we decided to go bac & visit him again the nex day. (the very same night at 3am, we received an SMS from him saying he has dropped out. hahaha!)
tt night we slept at almost 4am. the nex day we got up ay 12 noon again cuz we had a lunch appointment at Pan Pacific to go to. It was baby's sister's colleague's parents' anniversary of some sort & a celebration of their birthdays as well. so it was like quite a big thing. even tho i dun realli kno why her colleague invited almost her whole family. :p so baby's sister, brother, baby & i made our way to PanPac for the buffet lunch from 12pm - 3pm.
the buffet turned out realli good, the cuisines spread from chinese to indian, & italian to french! we ate so much even a pinch of salt wud haf made us puke! but i must say it was a very fulfilling lunch. :p
when we headed home, we were both dead beat. 3 days non-stop we been gg out, coming home to sleep, go out, come home & sleep! suddenly the tiredness was starting to wear on us & we both needed to sleep! so we took a loooooong nap from 4 to 7pm! & woke up for dinner of cuz.
tt night we watch man u vs chelsea (& i must honestly say, 1st time tt night, i enjoyed e match, partly cuz of cristiano ronaldo. haha) after tt, it was bac to our cozy bed again.. :)
altho we were busy, it was a fun weekend.. except for e fact tt poor baby's got a sprained ankle. otherwise it wud haf been much much more fun.
miraculously, we didn't quarrel AT ALL this week. i suppose tts gd, considering we saw each other so much during the PHs during the week..
i am not complaining. :D
**happy 29th month anniversary, bb...**
:: God Bless Cosmetics! ::
Have a few good recommendations on cosmetics recently & am eager to share.
Covermark: Concealer
Price: 40 mackeroos (it's a whole tub!! worth it!) i tell u girls, this concealer is a miracle healer! ok it doesn't heal. but it almost does!! it makes my dark eye rings *abracadabra* disappear!!!! I AM LOVIN' IT!
Stila: Eye colors
Price: Unavailable (sorry gals, it was a gift!) you kno how eye shadow colors ALWAES leave this thin line at your double eye-lids? I HATE IT. (no offence to the single-eyelides! but i'm sure it doesn't stay on those single eyelids too, right!!) it seems every single brand i've used so far, (even MAC) leaves this undesirable line whereby all the eye shadow u apply collates at the separating line & all those tt r supposed to stay on ur lids disappears!
NOW, i have found e perfect cosmetic brand tt does not allow this to happen!! STILA eye color is realli gd cuz ur eye shadow stays on ur lids & nv goes away! (even the shimmery ones!) i am impressed with it cuz even after my work from 8.30 to 6.30, then to dinner from 7.30 onwards, & even till partying until e wee hours, IT STAYS ON MY LIDS! *applause!!* yes e eye color stays on my lids! in case u can't tell, i am overwhelmed at this discovery. & i hope u gals will also benefit from it!!
bad news tho, i still have not found e right powder after Px. even so, Px was not tt great cuz their powder is not as fine as other brands even tho they had their unique custom blend (which i still think is the most brilliant thing tt even happened in cosmetic history!). i am currently using Biotherm & Covermark's loose powder. Biotherm is good cuz the powder is realli fine, so it is not cakey or patchy. However, it does not cover well. Covermark is excellent as it is both fine & covers well.. unfortunately, it does not come in the perfect shade for my skin tone. :( SO, i am still in search of the PERFECT powder!!! and till i do, pls help yourselves to my trusted Covermark concealer & Stila eye colors!!
Cheerios! :)
