:: let's b open with everyone & ourselves ::
ever met ppl who r in denial of their extreme envy of u tt it becomes apparent e more they try to hide it? it's sad when it's one of ur closer frens. jealousy is not a trait of a good fren. it makes me wonder helluva lot y ppl behave this way sometimes. y can't everyone jus b open abt their opinions, feelings etc.. if u dun like it, dun act like u do. no one shud b afraid of being themselves. it makes ppl talk. behind u. i shud kno, been there done tt. dun think no one will kno wat u say to somebody cuz they do, somehow. golden advice: treat other how u wanna b treated. alwaes works.
:: it's e company, not e activity ::
has anyone ever realised it's e company u r with tt matters and not e things u do tgt? i can b doing something i totally hate but b happy at e same time cuz i'm with e one i love. (refer to soccer. haha..) and when i hafta go out with ppl i dun realli feel comfortable with, i make sure we r doing quality activities. (refer to ktv, movies, dinner.. erm.. things i like. haha...) with frens and all, i can sit down somewhere totally boring, not doing anything, but b happily slacking. dun think u can do tt with an acquaintance rite? well, i can't.
so well, for e 1st time in my life, i actually had fun spring cleaning over e weekend. tired ya but, satisfied. haha.. e floor is so clean it's slippery and it kinda squeaks. haha.. how does tt sound huh! i'm starting to understand wat e simple joys in life are. i'm kinda old to only discover now.. but it's a sad revealation for me too. i only understood it when i experienced it.. with my bf's family. ok some ppl r thinking now, "aiya u jus trying to get close to ur bf's family" or "u jus trying to please ur bf rite.." well, i dunno how to say this but it realli isn't any of e above.. it's more like i nv felt this way about my family. my family is a.. mm.. quite an independent one. meaning we are all quite independent of each other and not inter-denpendent. i mean, it's good and it's bad.. but it kinda takes away e family togetherness and that joy a family should have.. but i also understand tt every family is different and i should not compare. Well, i am still thankful tt at least i have a family to fall back on when i feel lost and alone.. even tho it's not openly expressed at home, i kno we r care very much for each other deep down. =) but we do have weird ways of expressing tt affection too. =P
:: where's the love? ::
been hearing too many cheating stories and sad ending of relationships lately. makes me wonder if there realli is everlasting love. a fren of mine said to me, "pls, there's no such thing as love in this world" and it's especially sad to hear it from him cuz he's one of the nicest guys i kno. and all bcuz he got his fingers burnt in the game of love. not pointing fingers to blame anyone nor issit anyone's fault but it realli makes me wonder, where's e love, man? r humans realli incapable of faithfulness and do men realli stray? my bf thinks the new age girls r bcoming more and more materialistic and harder and harder to please and more often than not, r e cheating partners these days. (this doesn't alter e fact tt men do cheat, still.) i have no choice but to agree. i wud not like to fall under this category.. but sometimes i feel i am too. i can b extremely hard to please and expects more than i shud. =( but i do appreciate e things my bf does for me. i feel tt's e most impt. being appreciative is so important yet so neglected these days. i can't exactly put my thots into words today.. jus feeling a bit sad about this distortion to the word "love". it's something i live for and yet sometimes i question the meaning of it myself. anyone kno wat i'm trying to say? argh.
it's like, i jus dun understand how some girls change their bfs like changing clothes?? and these girls r not exactly e nicest girls around, yet they get all e attention from guys. e wrong type i guess. here i have so many frens with to-die-for traits in a gf yet no guys r throwing them a glance. WHY??? men r blind? bad girls r more exciting? screw it man. guys shud realli open their eyes and look for wife-material girls and not good-looking-presentable-to-friends girls. this realli sucks. e wrong girls r getting all e things a nice girl shud have. waitaminit, so is this e girls' fault or e guys'? argh all this is too confusing for me, i'm jus a simple girl!
end of e day, girls, respect yourselves and respect others. tt's wat i'm trying to put across to u, in case u haven't noticed. argh.
::momentary sadness::
does anyone feel like tt too? like this momentary sadness jus takes over u, no matter wat u r doing or feeling tt day. i mean, nothing bad has actually happened today.. but am in such a mood. and i must say, this moment is pretty long. when i fall inside, i stay inside all my sad and sometimes, bad memories. my sad memories aren't all tt bad sometimes... cuz there are happy things to remember my sad memories by. gee, does anyone kno wat i'm saying? i'm mourning lost love (but the process of lost love comes with a series of happy memories), unpolished friendships (b4 polishing a friendship, there is sweet acquaintance), and brokens ties (b4 these ties were broken, they were once beautiful).. and also some forgotten dreams (b4 these dreams were forgotten, they once were my source of motivation).. c where i'm gg..? can nv seem to get wat i want. things and ppl always come at the wrong time in my life. c'est la vie, they say. i say, it's a bloody curse.
