:: My Drama-Rama Mind ::

:: Get This Straight ::

Excuse me, dun u tell me what to do.

I call the shots now.

posted by Mrs. Lee @ 9:56 AM 0 comments

:: are you a friend to me? think again. ::

this is one subject i've neglected for a long time. ever since i got attached, this part of my life seemed to diminish in significance. which shud nv b the case, of cuz.

i haf a grp of realli cool gals, or so i thot. we share good times tgt mostly, bad times we try not to remember too much. but of late, i can't seem to get over some things tt happened. maybe it has been building up, maybe i have been played out too much by my so-called frens. and i haf reached the final straw. but now tt i haf come to this point, i dunno wat to do.

the more i thot abt it, the more i did not understand. if they realli were a friend to me, wud they desert me in my hour of need? one of them did something i dun wan her to do, and the other one did not do something i wanted her to do. and both of these things meant a great deal to me, yet my feelings were simply overlooked to satisfy the pleasure of another/their own.. which i strongly believe meant no significance to them whether or not they did it.

on a seperate note, another fren thinks we're fools. and tt we dunno her lies. if someone is gonna b so dishonest with me all the time, i dun see a point in building tt r'ship with her. if we r truly frens, y wud we wear masks in front of each other? this is definitely not the kind of fren i want.

which made me come to realise this: it is not how long/much u kno a person tt matters, it has how far u r willing to go for her.

i do not haf many frens. even so, i do not need those who take me for a ride when i take them seriously.

the hurt is jus not worth it.

posted by Mrs. Lee @ 11:36 AM 0 comments

:: my evil twin is back ::

i honestly thot i had gotten over the previous incident. i had myself fooled even.

i kno i haven't when i went berserk yday at the mere mention of her name. it was so traumatising.. the crying-myself-to-sleep happened all over again. the doubts lingered again. her actions clouded my rationality again.

worst thing is no one will ever understand how traumatised i am by her. she seems so harmless, so pleasant. but some part of me am so sure that she has something up her sleeves.. and she's just waiting for an opportune time to attack.

my evil twin is back.

i am feeling sour, feeling that mean person inside me acting up. i tried to control my emotions.. but it wudn't back down.. it jus all came out like a volcano eruption.

and i ruined that peace we've enjoyed for more than a month now..

all becuz of HER.

i hate all that pretense. she's so nice to me, i kno it's a pretense. she's so prayerful and "motherly". but her actions jus dun coincide with wat she says.

WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE SEEING HER FLAWS?? am i realli being bias? or are the others too taken with her to see it??

i dun wanna think abt it. i wish i nv haf to see her again.

motherf.

posted by Mrs. Lee @ 3:03 PM 0 comments

:: a wonderful world ::

i think i finally found wat i haf been searching for all this time.. i am at peace with everything and everyone.. and everything is jus falling into place nicely. but things wud b perfect if i had more money. :p kidding. i am happy with wat i am getting. :)

i haf alwaes been tt rash, impatient person.. for as long as i can remember.. but lately, i haf been trying to b calm, rational.. and most of all.. patient.. the results are clear to see. and quick too. ppl ard me act up less.. (cuz i am acting up less too) and everyone is happier. it is amazing how one person decides to change the way she lives her life can affect all those around her. like "butterfly effect". i can literally see happier faces and ppl having pleasant days cuz i choose to behave the way i do. energy is very contagious. if there is a vibe of negative energy gg around, everyone gets hit. same goes for positive energy. i realise so many things can b resolved in a matter of seconds if ppl jus look beyond their anger and hate.. things are realli not as bad as they seem. we live in singapore, how bad can things be for us? if only we knew how protected we are.

walking out of my less pleasant self has made me a happier person.. those ard me haf also benefitted from my subtle change..

self-reflection happens only when u want it to.. think abt yourself today and how u can make this world truly a wonderful place. if not the whole world, then at least ur own. :)

posted by Mrs. Lee @ 11:56 AM 4 comments