:: my box of chocolates is e sweetest! mm..! ::
i am starting to feel e stability tt i've alwaes yearned for settling into my life.. & it's a f**king gd feeling! i feel on top of e world and as if everything i want is within my control!! I AM POWERFUL!! Muahaha.. muahahaaha~~!!!
*clears throat*
ok seriously now.. it's helpful tt i kno i haf secured a job even b4 i graduate.. cuz tt way, i am moving forward with a direction and not wandering aimlessly. who doesn't like to kno where the road is leading them? yes i like surprises but i guess this jus dun fit into the form of a surprise!
my sweetie and i.. i mus say we r getting on jus fine. e relationship seems to have overcome all turbulances and it's finally starting to stabilize now.. and e best thing is tt.. e other day Guy A msged me.. i wud say.. i shud b happy to receive such a heart-warming msg from him cuz "i've alwaes loved him.. from then till now". but guess wat.. when i saw tt msg.. i was not e least bit happy.. in fact i felt a bit turned off.. & tt i missed dear terribly.. tt was when i knew tt dear has taken over his place completely.. all 100%. =) i dare say i have totally gotten over *him* and there is no one in this world who can replace my baby dear. & with each passing day.. i look forward to e chapter of my life where dear and i have our home, our own lives tgt.. and finally, our own kids.. my life.. is realli like a box of chocolates.. except i kno wat i'm gonna get. & i realli realli can't wait 2 eat it. =)
:: wat's e story, morning glory? ::
one of e worse dilemmas ever is whether u shud please urself or someone else.. by pleasing urself, u might b making unreasonable demands on e other person.. but pleasing the other one will make urself feel shitty and miserable.. so how, brown cow?
compromising is easy to say but hard to do.. expecially for me, i dunno y.. if i compromise, i alwaes do it unwillingly. unless the other party knos wat i am giving up or going against my own principles for.. in other words, does e other person appreciate it. sometimes i am so sick of such topics, i dun wanna think abt it, talk abt it or even kno abt it. i wanna jus forget abt everything sometimes.. but my heart cannot take e aches tt comes with it. y issit so hard to stay in a relationship?? i starting to feel i'm not suitable to b in one.. i'm possessive, easily agitated, jealous freak to some (but i alwaes have good grounds for being jealous), "G-A-P", i guess e list goes on. so u mus b wondering, i dun sound like e one suffering.. i'm e one inflicting pain and causing trouble for my other partner.. u can say tt again.. and again and again and again..
so, wat's in store for us now? we r into e 3rd yr of our relationship.. still dun haf a good idea of wat each other is like.. alwaes running into disagreements.. is tt normal? shud we stop making this relationship exclusive so tt it can get a breather and perhaps make this relationship more healthy in e long run? but tt is against my beliefs.. i dun believe in open relationships.. NO.. u can go on and fantasize abt it but it is NOT gonna happen. so then wat.. WAT??
omg i am in a totally messed up state of mind.. i realli can't think logically.. i'm insanely disturbed.. visibly upset and sensibly calm.. i dunno wat i am trying to say.. do u??
