:: My Drama-Rama Mind ::

:: that i would be good ::

i have accumulated too much, now i dunno where to start blogging.. all thanks to the look nice but dun work nice notebook in my office.. screwing up on me so i haven't been able to access blogspot from office. not having been able to blog realli almost took my life away in the office.. but i guess.. it's jus as well.

since we are at tt topic, let's jus con't. work has been ok so far. i am still lost but at least i am starting to b more comfortable in the office and with my boss now. in fact.. my relationship with my boss is better than i ever thot possible. i actually can't wait for my boss b back in the office when he recovers from his foot injury. (ok tt's another story altogether. mayb another time. :P) so perhaps.. i cud realli learn to love my job. with so many hands reaching out to help me, i am real lucky. i hope i can advance in my current company. **God bless me!**

so yday was V day. THE day. i mus say.. i didn't exactly enjoy myself, but it had been an exceptionally meangingful day for me.. it was sad, hurting, shocking all in one. but.. it also gave me many realisations.. perhaps.. i realli need to re-evaluate wat i wan in this relationship & wat i truly need. & where do i see this relationship in the next 5 years. these questions had nv been harder to answer than now. for a long time, i felt tt it was gg my way.. exactly how i wanted it. but.. i discovered tt not only i was wrong, i was far from it. it was scary. it was like my whole jus crumbled on me.. and the person who promised to be there to brave all storms with me.. wasn't there suddenly. it was terribly painful & i cudn't stop crying.. i didn't kno myself.. and i didn't kno him.. it was like, everything had gone wrong from the start. how bad can things get right.

thanks to my aunt.. i managed to pull thru for a while, straighten out my thots for a while.. and gathered my emotions at peace. i do love him. but it is indeed upsetting if the relationship carried on the way it did. so how, brown cow? i seem to be asking tt a lot these days. simply cuz the answer cannot b found. except to keep trying, trying & trying..

summing up my life for the past 2 months.. unstable, unpredictable & uneasy.

something to brighten my day, someone?

actually.. i think i feel happy oredi.. contentment is the word. understanding is the word. respect is the word. finally LOVE is THE word.

d'ya kno wat i mean?

posted by Mrs. Lee @ 10:16 PM