:: My Drama-Rama Mind ::

:: chin up, it's a new year. ::

on the contrary to the subject of my last post.. i am not quite overjoyed.

i dun think i wud haf ever imagined tt i'll b spending new year's eve alone. well at least now tt i am blogging up here.. i kno someone will read it.. & i am not exactly alone.

someone once told me, to b watchful & careful of wat u do on the strike of midnight on new year's eve. cuz tt'll predict a lot of wat u'll b doing/feeling for tt new year.. so in 3 min's time will b the strike of midnight.. i am currently feeling upset, alone & unloved. it sure is gg to b a sad year for me.

i think it is also this reason tt makes me wish i was spending it with my bf. but he dies not want to i can't force him i guess. maybe it's coming.. the time when u feel ur relationship will soon break up, been too long, too bored of each other maybe? i dunno.

so i had been unreasonable. but it's not like it's e 1st time. maybe i've been spoilt rotten by him. so now i must realise tt i mus stop being spoilt?

wateva his aim of being so mean to me, it's too much. all i wanted, was to see him. he clearly chose some other ppl over me. & i realli cannot get over tt. but at least now i kno for a fact. i am not as impt to him as he claims. i apologised yet he didn't say anything to acknowledge it. he insisted he wun b calling me tonight, much less see me. i mean, come on. of all nights. it's new year's eve. must we drag the quarrel into the new year? after all, i apologised so tt i cud see him today. but it didn't happen. jus like it didn't happen last night. maybe he knew tt it was wat i wanted, & he deliberately refused to let it happen.

seriously, i dun feel the love at all. i am sad & hurt & knowing this for a fact, he doesn't say/do anything to make me feel better. is he punishing me cuz i was wrong in the 1st place? i realli haven't felt so low in a long time. something tells me i can expect more of it.

happy new year, all.

posted by Mrs. Lee @ 12:06 AM