:: 圈套 ::
i haf been wallowing in self pity for the past days, religiously sitting by my phone, willing it to ring.. and wondering why he still hasn't called yet.one minute i'm thinking to myself, "this might b better for us, perhaps better for him. and it's something everyone has to go thru, so come on, hit me."
nex minute, i'm thinking, "this is not true.. he can't b serious.. after all this time?? impossible. no. can't b. he'll b calling me soon, i kno tt."
i am becoming another person. not even ET, but CT, the Crazy Twin.
to b perfectly honest, i do not want it to end. we've put in so much time and effort, it's realli quite a waste. plus, aren't all r'ships like tt? i nv thot there was a perfect r'ship in the world. ok maybe there is, but it wud nv happen to me. we haf a turbulent r'ship but, i do love him at the end of day. the thot of him even contemplating to end it at this point in time, is devastating.
this being my 1st real r'ship, wud also b my 1st heartbreak. i'm beginning to feel it sinking in and i realli dun like it. i think it's gonna b much much worse when the news comes eventually.
i dunno how to fight this, my brain is telling me to let go but my heart doesn't want to. i'm too used to him, too habitual to quit. my mind is a complete mess and waiting for the phone call is so so hard to bear.
this time the tables are turned on me, he is holding my destiny in his hands. no matter how much i wanna make it work, it's not my call. if one has oredi given up, wat's the use of the other hanging on?
learn to let go, you.. learn to let go..
this is the upteenth time this happened.
even he is sick of it.
he's saying things he nv used to.
maybe this is wat is gg to happen, finally.
why do i nv learn my lesson?
我被自己困在自己设下的圈套.
and i'm beginning to feel like i deserve it.
posted by Mrs. Lee @ 6:40 PM
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